


Endless

by mac_irony



Series: bakt week 2017 !! [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, BokuAkaKuroTsuki Week, Established Relationship, Existential Crisis, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, I'm Bad At Tagging, Multi, Panic Attacks, Some Fluff, a bit of humor too ig?, bakt week 2017, gomen tsukki, kei's boyfriends love him, kuroo is a poetic little shit, slight angst, space, too many space metaphors, why is that a tag?????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 07:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11709510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mac_irony/pseuds/mac_irony
Summary: “Kei, what is it,” Keiji asked lacing their fingers together, probably trying to keep him tied to reality. What he probably didn’t understand was that reality was the problem.OrWhy tsukishima kei was a dinosaur kid and not a space kid[for bakt week - day 1: space]





	Endless

**Author's Note:**

> Happy bokuakakurotsuki week everyone! I chose "space" from today's prompt so here ya have it!
> 
> As I mentioned in the tags there is a panic attack/existential crisis so be wary of that if you need to.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!!!

Kei knows that despite the prickly front he puts up, there are still parts of him that are childish and illogically fixated on ridiculous things. He knows that he probably should have grown out of his dinosaur phase by the time he got into university. He knows that it’s a juvenile obsession but he was dinosaur kid and he’s proud of it goddamnit. 

Now, even as a proud dinosaur kid, Kei is able to admit that space is fine. 

Space is cool. 

Space is groovy. 

Whatever. 

Thus, even though he would have preferred a marathon where they rewatched _The Land Before Time_ , he was fine sitting through one of Tetsurou’s space documentaries. It’s interesting enough and at least it’s factual and not an “imaginative trip through the cosmos, meeting tons of cool alien friends,” like the one Oikawa had forced them to watch.

The point being, Kei had no objections to movie night tonight. He was content curled in a blanket with Tetsurou on the floor at his feet and Koutarou and Keiji pressed together on the other end of the couch. 

He was quite happy. 

That is until the documentary got into the expansive universe they lived in.

Kei could handle being one person in a planet of a huge solar system. That was slightly daunting but he could handle that.

He had a lot more trouble handling the knowledge that it was endless. There was so much more than just their tiny solar system. There was no end to it, and even if you did get to the end there was nothing. Not to mention that what we think of as “nothing” is still something in terms of the universe. 

And if that wasn’t enough to give Kei an existential crisis (and oh it was), there was still the fact that the statistical probability of there being civilized life on other planets in the entire cosmos was so great that their tiny planet with seven billion people seemed minuscule.

Even still, how, out of that many people, had Kei, asshole supreme, managed to find not one, not two, but three people who claimed to love him unconditionally? It wasn’t right; there was something wrong. 

He was so _insignificant_ and _small_ in the grand scheme of thing. How could these people possibly care so much about him? It just didn’t make sense.

Kei honestly didn’t realize he was shaking until he felt Tetsurou’s hand on his knee. 

“Kei?” a voice said. His eyes were shut tightly and he wasn’t sure which one of them said it but he was suddenly aware of the lack of background noise coming from the television and three pairs of eyes on him.

“I’m fine,” he uttered hoping to turn their attention away from him.

It was to no avail though, as the same voice from before, now identified as Keiji’s replied, “Love, you’re shaking and you look like you’ve seen a ghost. I wouldn’t classify that as ‘fine.’”

“Kei, I’ve never seen you unhappy while watching a documentary ever before so why don’t we just turn it off and you can tell us what made you upset and then-” Tetsurou started.

“And then we can hug you until you feel better!” Koutarou interrupted.

Kei lifted his head to refuse because he was _fine, everything was fine,_ but then he realized that he couldn’t see them because there was water welled up in his eyes and he was _not crying, he doesn’t cry at stupid stuff, stop it Kei-_

“Nope! This is going off. You’re upset and I don’t like seeing you sad. Bro, turn it off,” Koutarou said sliding out from behind Keiji who was also already leaning towards Kei on the couch.

“Already on it,” Tetsurou mumbled while fumbling with the remote. 

Once the screen went black, Kei could feel all eyes on him. He blinked, hoping the tears would just fall back into his eye sockets or something, but a few traitorous trails fell down his cheeks. When he was able to see again he saw all three of them looking at him with such adoration and care that he couldn’t handle it again. He felt his heartbeat speed up and he had trouble swallowing.

“Kei, what is it,” Keiji asked lacing their fingers together, probably trying to keep him tied to reality. What he probably didn’t understand was that reality was the problem.

He tried to talk and he made noise but everything was so garbled that he wasn’t sure he was making any sense. He looked to Tetsurou who had his hand on Kei’s chest and was exaggerating his own breathing, trying to get Kei to breathe normally again.

Once he had calmed down enough to talk he looked into his lap and sighed, “You ever realize how little you are when you think about space? I mean you watched it too. There's so much more out there and I’m so small in comparison to _everything_ and it’s… it’s terrifying.”

No one replied and so his mouth opened again and it all spilled before he could even register what he was saying. Everything about how _there's no end_ and _there’s probably so much life out there besides us_ and _they probably know so much more_ and _there are only seven billion people on this one planet compared to the practically infinite number out there_ and of course most importantly _how could you all possibly care so much about one small insignificant person._

He felt Keiji’s hand tighten and heard Koutarou let out a squeak and he refused to look at Tetsurou because he loved this stuff and Kei had just ruined it most likely.

Unsurprisingly, Tetsurou was the first to speak up. “You know, Kei, I’ve never met anyone outside of those in this room who make me feel as safe and comfortable and _in love_. I can’t imagine a lifetime that I wouldn’t want to spend with the three of you.”

Kei tried to interrupt in confusion because _that was part of the problem don’t you underst-_

But he stood up and paced around their tiny living room as he continued, “And I don’t care how small or insignificant you are the scheme of the entire universe. This apartment here is my entire universe. And in this universe, there are only four people and each one of them is important and takes up such a huge portion that it’s impossible to go anywhere without being reminded of them. That includes you, Kei. There might be countless stars and planets and moons and whatnot out there, but right here, right now, there’s only one moon. One Tsukki. And while space may be endless, so is my love for the three of you. Whenever you get lost, remember that.”

“Testu, what the fuck? That was so poetic,” Keiji whispered.

“Why do you always say the coolest things before I can, man!” Koutarou whined with a wide grin on his face.

“Thank you,” Kei breathed. He shot Tetsurou a look that could hopefully convey at least half of his gratitude and affection.

“Not to be a downer, but I’m sure neither of us could possibly say anything better. No matter, I still love you as well, no matter how many people or aliens there are,” Keiji said with a soft smile as he pressed into Kei’s side. 

“Me too, Tsukki! I don’t know how to say it any better but-” Koutarou mumbled.

“Just come here, Kou,” Kei asked taking one arm off of Keiji’s waist, to allow for Koutarou to come to his other side. The latter quickly obliged and wrapped his arms around both of the other boys. 

“Um, bro would you like to join?” Koutarou asked looking up at the fourth member of their quartet questioningly. 

“Obviously,” Tetsurou huffed, laying down on top of the bundle of them. 

How the four of them managed to all fit on that couch (admittedly, it was a very brief period of time, but still) was miraculous but Kei had never felt more content on their _small_ couch, in their _insignificant_ apartment with the three people who kept him anchored to earth the best.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment if you liked it!!
> 
> If you want to come scream with me about hq!! you can find me on Tumblr here!!


End file.
